Mr. Christopher Jay T. Robidillo is among the best professors in UP Manila. Not only is he so smart, but he also knows and understands the limitations of his students.
Too bad that this was our last day of experiments for organic chemistry. Gosh, I'll miss those mornings where my partner Rox and I would wash glasswares and use the dilapidated droppers and bottles for the reagents. And of course, I would miss those chances of talking with my crush, Sir Robby. :) I really admire him because he is so humble and I feel that he really loves us. hehe If only.. :P I believe there's still chance. hehe
We werent able to synthesize aspirin because most of our (actually my fault) were consumed by the synthesis of soap. Am I that stupid? Why did it take me two days to finish just a simple experiment? I feel so useless. I wasnt able to weigh our crude soap before I dissolved it. Arrggghhh
1,2,3,4,5.. Ive only got 5 nights to study for our Chem lec exam. Huhu.. I am not used to getting scores in the range of 50-60 (That's why I cried when I failed 1 exam last sem). Why cant I get an 80 or a 70 even? Huhu Indolencia.. hehe (PI100). MAybe I am being punished because I have committed too many sins this sem.

My classmates know why I am so annoyed these days. The events which happened on the day before yesterday really troubled me (yep, until my sleep). The feeling is so different -- sometimes I wanna bang on HIS door and shout in his face, "ANG KAPAL NG MUKHA MO!" but then its impossible-- because I don't even know where his house is.
Arrgh. I really hate this. I even wished I didn't join Christianster. Gosh. I am so stupid.

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I am happy to see my sister smile again.
She has been acting so irritated these days. (And I believe that it is partly my fault.) I feel so guilty of not being a good sister to her. Actually I miss those days when we played with our dolls, talked about our crushes, had math and science lectures, ate together, and almost do everything together. She has really been sweet to me, but sometimes, I just don't like her being around. I think that I have the "ATE" (elder sis) Syndrome. My friend Vangie told me once that she got irritated with her "ate" because she wouldn't let her sleep in THEIR bed. Actually, I believe that "ate"s naturally undergo this stage when they hate their female siblings. Is it just jealousy? Maybe. But I don't think so. (pride)
Of course I love my sister Jill. She's my number one fan (I think). hehe She was the only one who'd give me compliments everyday in our family. Parang siya ung nanay na proud sa anak. hehe Aww.. I miss her.
I feel so stupid for acting such. hay..
By the way, the reason why she (my sister) is so happy now, is because she passed the UPCAT. Now, we're going to be schoolmates. hehe
*BAD NEWS: I gained 5-10 pounds yata. OMG. I am starting to get fat again. Huhu. I cant control myself anymore when it comes to eating. Gosh, I'll start my diet tomorrow.

It has been a week since my last post. I miss my blog.*kiss* hehe
This week hasn’t been that much hell as Ive expected (and not like those previous weeks). Tuesday was a near-hell experience, though.
I had my plans: Sunday and Monday evenings would be my time to study for my Zoology Laboratory Exam. Arrgh. I haven’t been listening to the professor, because every Wednesdays (Zoo Lab class), I usually am too tired to read the manual and prepare for class. Add to that my tardiness: class is scheduled to start at 7 am, but I come to class at 830 am.
*$#6! They were just plans. And I made no promises to keep them. I started studying for the exam only Monday evening. I read the introduction to the chapter about the Urogenital System, and then I decided to get some sleep at 11 pm.
I woke up at 730 am, and then realized that I haven’t studied the latter major parts of the reviewers yet. I have class @ 830, and it would be impossible to prepare myself and my things for school and travel in one hour. Therefore, I skipped classes that day.
The exam was scheduled to be at 6 pm. Dahil nakonsyensya ako, I came to school too early for the exam at 4 pm.
The Lord still has been good to me: I didn’t know the exam has been moved to start at 5 pm. I was 1 hr early.
While I was entering the school gates (in detail pa talaga), I felt dizzy and cold. Yes, nilagnat pa ko bago mag-exam. I thought I wouldn’t be able to take the exam because I had terrible headache. Thanks to my classmates na kumulit at nagcomfort sa akin. And thanks to Dette and Ryan na pumunta pa ng Mercury Drug across Taft Ave. upang ibili ako ng biogesic (which costs PhP 2 each. Would you believe it is that cheap? Woah grabe)
I forced myself to take the exam because I had no other choice. Inside the laboratory it was so hot, that I was really sweating while taking the exam. Un lang pala kailangan ko para mawala lagnat ko.
Tuloy ko n lng kwento ko next tym. hehe

Twenty three questions to be answered as an essay each. I hate Soc Sci II! (The exam part only)

Today was our Soc Sci II mid-term exam, and it was badly set because I had an exam yesterday. If you’ve read my previous post, you’d know that I haven’t been gaining that much sleep. So last night, I slept as much as I can. Haha. I was too confident about the exam (SocSciII), because I was expecting that it’d be easy. But it turned out that I was wrong. Huhu

I also attended SOD’s weekly LIFE meeting. I have been attending for about 3x, and I am starting to feel comfortable with the people. Actually, I have met Ate Chrish (the group leader) since my freshman years through Ema. At first, I was attending weekly cell group meetings, but since Chem 27, and afterwards, Zoo 102 and Chem 31, I can’t spend time anymore with the group. But now, since the meeting fitted perfectly to my sched, I can’t let any chance of regaining spiritual strength and meeting Christian friends pass me by. As I have been telling you, my spiritual life is a bit low right now. But hey, not just a bit – it is way down low.

I enjoyed listening to Kuya Carlo’s message about winning souls for Christ, and his side stories about UP life, and other things. He quoted somebody, “The reason why people fear death is because after dying, they would realize that they had not lived at all.” And I was struck right through the heart. I am not afraid of death, but I am afraid of what would happen after death. I am afraid that I have not been living at all – that I am not using this life to do my responsibility as a Christian, that is, to win souls for Christ. How could I be such a hypocrite – professing myself as a Christian, yet not making people feel that Christ has really changed me? How could I be so ungrateful? Selfish? Arrgh. I hate myself.

How I wish I had somebody to talk to about these things.

500 ml of Bacchus energy drink kept me going.
Our second exam for zoology was set today, and we were to read 5 chapters of the ever-loved Comparative Vertebrate Anatomy by Kent and Carr. And because I am the queen of procrastination, I started reading the book last Sunday and was able to finish reading 3 chapters only.
1:00 - 1:30 p.m. Organic Chemistry lab class ends, Rox and I ate lunch at the GAB cafeteria and parted ways because I had to go to CPH
1:30 - 2:00 p.m. I entered the OCS, presenting a picture and an affidavit of loss. I willingly lost my ID. hehe I also received letter about the academic scholarships for my classmates and myself.
2:00 - 3:30 p.m. Travel time, I was hoping to read a few pages of the book while at the bus, but Hypnos (GKNB?) passed by and I was put to a sleep.
3:30 - 4:30 p.m. Upon arriving at the village entrance, I decided to get a haircut. I wanted a new look when I study. [I often look at the mirror while studying. Somehow seeing an image of myself inspires me to continue reading. haha]
4:30 - 6:00 p.m. I watched MTV, ate bread, rice, meat, chocolates, and almost everything I found in the fridge. haha *guilt*
6:00 p.m. I decided to STOP eating and induced myself to vomit. hehe joke lang. I decided to start reading the book. I have actually finished reading the 1st chapter last Saturday. So I started reading the next chapter about vertebrae, etc.
8 p.m. I finished reading the chapter. 3 more to go! It took me that long because I often took breaks by playing the piano and mirror gazing. Mom arrived at about 9:30, and she gave me 2 250-ml cans of Bacchus, which Ive asked her to buy for me. I gulped the contents of the 1st can, and it tasted good (though Ryan said that it tasted somewhat like cough syrups,etc). whehe Actually I was addicted to it, so about an hour later, the next can's content was consumed.
2:00 a.m. I finished reading the 3rd chapter. This was the hardest chapter to read, I should say. It dealt with the skull and visceral skeleton of craniates. whew. I had to memorize the membrane bones of the dermatocranium, and their origins in different vertebrates. Sounds difficult, and it really is. But I enjoyed it. hehe
2:00 a.m. - 3:00 a.m. After feeling such an accomplishment of reading the chapter on the skull, I suddenly felt that I need not study the next chapters anymore. So I played the piano (while everyone's sleeping, hehe. I was continually playing "The Voice of the Heart" by Henri Von Gael. Nakakarindi na nga yata. hehe I was also trying to play Fur Elise, but I just can't do it as Beethoven did. I am no Maksim like my Kuya Ivan. This summer I promise! I am going to take piano lessons at Yamaha.) until I felt the GC me again. I rushed to the table and started reading the first quarter pages of the next chapter. I had slight headache, and closed my eyes for a few minutes, and then I decided that Id skip the 4th chapter and start reading the last chapter, the chapter about muscles.
5:00 a.m. I started fixing myslef and my things. I prepared too early for school, and arrived at the bus station, at about 5:20 a.m.
6:15 a.m. I arrived at school. With dim lights, I went up to the 3rd floor of the GAB to check if our room was open. I decided to stay at the RH-GAB corridor and read some handouts given to us by our professor. And oh, I bought cheese bread and water pala for breakfast.
7:45 a.m. I went to see if anyone of my classmates are already present. I saw Esther, from the other PH block.
** at 8:30 a.m. Mam de Guzman arrived carrying the test papers. As she came near to our room, I sadly reflected upon myself: suddenly, I just wanted to quit. School life was just too hard. Aside from not sleeping at all, I feel that I have neglected my responsibilities as a Christian. I can feel that I am spiritually degrading, and the feeling is scary. I owe too much to the Lord.
How I wish that He would give me the peace I have long been praying for.
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Chai dude! Sorry. Mejo nagmamadali na ako s aking last entry. I was not able to mention specific things about you because they are just too many. hehe Sa akin na lang un. Kaw pa rin si best dude ever. hehe :) love you!